SUSPENSION
by deetatarant
Summary: Chapter 13.....FINAL.
1. Chapter 1

**SUSPENSION**

Ianto likened it to open heart surgery without an anaesthetic, he backed himself into the corner of his bedroom and jammed his fist into his mouth to stifle the howl of distress that was lodged in his raw throat. In all the time he had worked with Torchwood he had not done the one thing he had dreaded. He wasn't certain how he managed to avoid it, especially since starting at Torchwood 3, but finally the act had been committed and he was entirely responsible. Two people were dead. Never mind the fact that Lisa had finally succumb to the Cyber control and literally murdered them, ultimately Ianto was responsible. Murder by proxy? Murder by default? Murder, whichever way you looked at it. Grief and guilt, Ianto understood both those things only too well, they slept with him every night, embraced his days like a shadow and had done for months. Somehow he had functioned on autopilot, now he just shut down.

Owen stood in the door way looking down at the pitiful mess in the corner. He was at a loss. He remembered in his own times in a similar state and wanted to turn away from Ianto and the memory, but he couldn't. He wasn't a compassionate man by nature but even he could not turn his back on this. So he stood there waiting for an opening, hoping , somewhat vainly, for Ianto to acknowledge his presence there. He took a moment to suck in a long steadying breath and glance around the sterile impersonal bedroom that was so Ianto. The space was as unreadable as the young man himself. His gaze fell back to his colleague, still in the clothes he had been sent home in four days previously, the stench of sweat and stale blood was overwhelming. He could hear Jack in the kitchen opening and closing cupboards but then was suddenly aware of his bosses' presence at his side.

"There's nothing in the house. I'm gonna ring Gwen and get her to do a trip to the supermarket. Sort him out and come straight back to the Hub."

Owen nodded. "Retcon?"

Jack was hesitating, Owen could sense it in the held breath. "No, he's going to pay for what he has done." Came the bitter reply. Owen heard him turn and leave. Damn, what the hell was he supposed to do now? Cautiously he edged forwards dropping his med bag on the overly neatly made bed.

"Ianto?"

With his fist now covered in deep teeth marks the young man looked up at Owen and the medic sincerely wished that he hadn't.

"Get out!"

The scream surprised Owen and he was totally unprepared as Ianto launched himself to his feet and flung himself at Owen sending them both to the floor. Ianto grabbed at his clothes forcing him back up to his feet.

"Get the fuck out. Get out."

He reached and grabbed Owen's kit thrusting it into his grasp and pushing him at the same time to towards the front door of his flat.

"Ianto! Stop. I need to che...."

"Get out of my house!"

A moment later he was on the doorstep, bag in hand the locks being secured on the other side of the double glazed door. Owen was gobsmacked. Ianto showing what he was really capable of, a strength of will and physical power that none of them believed he had. Truth was, they had never asked. Owen swallowed guiltily. It didn't last long, the wanker had tried to kill them after all. He walked away deciding it wasn't worth the effort.

Ianto sank down to the carpet shaking with the effort, lack of food and drink finally making him aware of the need to get up again. He didn't move and finally drifted off into a haze as he leaned against the front door. Some hours later he didn't hear Gwen's voice through the letter box or feel her attempts to unlock his front door.

Gwen sighed with worry and frustration. With the two carrier bags at her feet she got out the keys that Jack had given her and tried the lock wholly aware of the neighbour's curtain twitching. The door gave slightly then jammed and she noticed the chain through the gap, quite a substantial one and she fleetingly wondered whether or not she should kick the door in. She called his name and got no response and her internal alarm bells starting to ring wildly, she remembered these kind of situations from her police days and knew they never boded well. Gwen yanked her mobile from her pocket and dialled Jack's number, gorgeous Jack, he was all she could think about and then there was Owen lying with her in the.....

"Gwen, what's up?"

God that accent. "I can't get into Ianto's flat, he's not answering. I'm worried."

She heard his tired and exasperated sigh. "Fine, come back to the Hub, leave him be."

"Jack? He could be dead in there."

"That's his problem, get back to the Hub."

Gwen nodded. "Ok." She hung up and grabbed the bags of shopping and did as she was told.

It was the smell that finally brought him to his senses. He was wrenched into consciousness by the need to vomit. Ianto flopped onto his side and dry retched painfully, gasping for air. Eventually he hauled himself to unsteady feet, his head swimming with nausea and staggered in the direction of the bathroom. He yanked off his offensive smelling clothes and threw them to the floor and spent the next hour standing under a scalding jet of water scrubbing at his skin with a loofa and shower gel, watching Lisa's blood disappear down the sink hole along with the tattered remains of his life. He leant forward on his elbows against the slick tiles, tears lost in the hot water. He didn't remember getting out and dry or putting on a clean set of casual clothes. When he eventually found some sense awareness he discovered he was on a bus heading out to the West coast.

Jack was not surprised to find Ianto's flat empty. He took note of the abandoned pile of filthy clothes on the bathroom floor and the absence of Ianto's wallet and keys in the tiny living space. The mobile phone was in pieces having been obviously hurled against the wall. Jack sighed realising somewhat belatedly that he probably should not have left Ianto to deal with his grief alone. He was still livid at the betrayal, but as angry at himself as he was at Ianto. How had he not seen this coming? It was like Suzie all over again. Was he so incompetent? Jack noted there were almost no possessions in the flat, just a Torchwood issue laptop sitting on the kitchen bench. No TV, one couch and one bed and a half dozen or so unpacked boxes scattered about the lounge floor. A testament to Ianto's misery and loneliness. Jack sighed and went back to the hallway to retrieve the grocery shopping that Gwen had attempted to bring earlier. He placed the bags on the counter top and took a glance out of the kitchen window and then at his watch. Almost mid night. It was raining and windy outside. Shit, and Jack actually began to worry. He'd denied his responsibility to this man for almost five days, wallowing in his own self pity and allowing his anger to consume him. The bottom line, he had failed once again to see the obvious and in hind sight it had been pretty bloody obvious that something had been wrong with Ianto from day one. He had put it down to Canary Wharf Survivors Syndrome and concentrated on looking at Ianto's pert arse. The boy had been a master tease, but had never succumb and Jack had become obsessed with the challenge instead of reading the signals for what they really were.... deflection, distraction and the loudest silent cry for help with those trusting eyes that Jack had mistaken for lust. Pain and lust, common bed fellows in his life one used to relieve the other in varying combinations. Jack sat on the couch in the semi darkness and waited. He needed to fix this. He needed to salve his conscience and most of all he needed to repair the damage done to his relationship with the youngest member of his team and quite possibly the most traumatised. Jack had not dared to look into Ianto's eyes since he put bullets into Lisa. He knew what he would see. The hatred he could live with. The emptiness..... That didn't warrant thinking about, especially in some one as young as Ianto. The boy was probably damaged beyond repair.

A text arrived from Owen at 2:15 am. Jack realised he had been drifting on the edge of what passed for him as sleep when his phone beeped.

'any sign?'

'no' Jack sent back. He dumped the phone and decided to make himself a cup of coffee. He searched through Gwen's shopping, instant coffee..... oh well, it would have to do for now.

Tosh sighed and finally shut down her computer. "There's no sign of him anywhere Owen. I've checked all the City wide CCTV feeds and nothing has come through from the police or hospital computers. I hope he's ok."

Owen handed her a cup of coffee. "One thing we can be sure of, he's definitely not ok. Jack should've Retconned the poor fucker and dumped him at Providence Park. He's probably gone and topped himself somewhere nice and quiet."

"That's cruel thing to say, Owen."

"The truth usually is Tosh. Jack fucked up. Ianto massively fucked up and the rest of us stood back and let it happen. I'm his fucking Doctor Tosh and I didn't see that coming."

Tosh was surprised at the admission of guilt. "I betrayed this country to save my mother Owen and did exactly what Ianto did, lied to my friends and colleagues and UNIT didn't give me a second chance. Jack did. I just hope he's not too late for Ianto."

The incoming extreme of the tide lapped at Ianto's trainers. He was wet anyway, soaked through in fact. Every time he went to the beach it rained. It never lessened his love of the ocean though. Even in the deep darkness of a wet cloudy night the sound of the waves would calm him and give him the space he needed to think or not to think. The even surges of sound would always sooth his frayed nerves. It was the one thing he had missed when he lived in Cambridge and London. The sound of the sea, it reminded him of Lisa's post coital breathing and the serene calm that had stolen over him in her presence. How many times had he drowned in her scent? He lay back on the damp sand and stared into the night ignoring the rawness in his dry throat and acidic burning of his empty stomach. This suspension in calm was all the nourishment he needed right now, his memories and nostalgia and walking with his Tad and his dog along this very same beach ten years before all the madness had descended on his life. His Tad had been so devastated by Ianto's criminal conviction.... a stupid peer group pressure attempt to fit in. Ianto had promised his Tad after that never to let him down again. He worked hard and his parents saved to get him into Cambridge, his Tad's dream. All Ianto had wanted was to be a tailor like him. Ianto had never understood why his Tad was ashamed of his own profession, why he wanted Ianto to be some high flying something in London. It had all been for him and he hadn't lived long enough to see it. So many lives snuffed out of existence and Ianto was glad his Tad had died before it had all started.

Ianto was not surprised to find Jack on his couch when he lurched into his flat at five am. He must have looked a wreck because Jack was up on his feet guiding him to sit the moment he stepped in the door. Ianto shrugged him off along with his wet denim jacket and sank down on to his sofa. He was cold and damp and needed another shower.

"What do you want sir?"

Jack handed him a mug of coffee. "I was worried."

Ianto arched his eyebrows at the mug in his hand. "Is this drugged?"

Jack shook his head and sat down on the carpet a short distance between them. It could have been a gaping chasm.

Ianto blew across the coffee to cool it and wrinkled his nose at the bitter smell. "You sent Gwen shopping then."

Jack couldn't help but smile. "Its not that bad."

"Its instant, what's good about it?"

"Just be grateful." His smile dissipated.

"For what exactly? Why are you here?" Ianto took a sip and his gut clenched in protest the moment the liquid got down that far. Ianto put the mug down.

"Like I said. I was worried."

Ianto snorted at that. "Guilty more like. Too busy looking at people's arses to see what's going on around you."

Jack glared at him.

"Truth hurts doesn't it, sir?"

"You didn't trust us. You didn't trust me and you used us." He stated with feeling.

"You're shit at your job you know. Suzy found out what I was doing a week after I started. She bribed me, got me to use that glove, said I was a natural and I ended up teaching her how to control it's power. She kept my secret and I kept hers, though I gotta admit if I had've known she was a serial killer..... Yeah that was a shock. But she had me figured, even helped me calibrate Lisa's life support....."

Jack could feel his heart grow colder with every word but he remained silent, Ianto was actually talking for once and it made a refreshing change to actually have someone stand up to him whether he liked what was said or not.

"You Jack.... all you saw was an opportunity. Someone to chase and seduce, another mark on your bedpost. You're a sexual predator Jack and you disgust me as much as I disgust myself for taking advantage of it. You make so many mistakes, you see people but you don't read them and attempt to know them. People are just commodities for you to use, expendable tools and toys."

Ianto leaned his head back against the couch, a headache was threatening, probably due to low sugar levels he guessed.

"It's funny you know. I really expected to feel hatred toward you, but all I feel is pity. You have no real idea what love truly is, how perfect it can be. You sit there in your office, biding your time for God only knows what...."

Jack's head snapped up at that, and Ianto noticed straight away.

"I'm not stupid Jack, young maybe, but not the idiot you all take me for. You're waiting for something or someone and when it comes you'll be gone. You're secrets are far darker than mine, far dirtier and you are the greatest betrayer of all, or at least you will be when you run out on us."

"What makes you say that?"

"I know a man who is lost when I see one. I see him in the mirror every day."

Jack had the decency to look away guiltily.

"Thought so." Ianto got up from the couch and wandered through to his kitchen. He inspected the contents of the shopping bags and his fridge.

"Want some breakfast?"

Jack was there at his side a moment later. "Sure why not?"

They stared at one another for a moment. "You gonna be coming back to work?"

Deflection. "You seriously want me back?" Ianto pulled out his toaster from the cupboard.

"You're useful."

"Ringing endorsement then. There's nowhere else for me to go and I owe Dr Tanizaki and Annie that much at least. I'll never go to prison for killing them so I may as well serve my time at Torchwood." Ianto replied.

Jack sagged inside. "I'm sorry you see it that way."

Ianto froze and rested his hands on the counter top. "How else shall I see it when I work with four people who don't even notice that I am even there, that never look up and thank me when I give them their coffee or a requested file.... not even your oh so big bleeding heart Gwen can manage a few manners. There's no kindness in that place, no reason to WANT to be there. I have more intelligent conversations with the dinosaur and the only conversations I get out of you are about sex. You are all so wrapped up in yourselves, it's why it was so easy for Suzie and me. She took time to look me in the eyes when I gave her a file or a mug of coffee and she thanked me, she noticed me for the pathetically desperate individual that I was."

"I really had no idea."

"That much is obvious.... like I said too busy wrapped up in your own agenda." Ianto set about preparing their breakfast now in silence as Jack found tea bags and made tea instead of coffee.

"You really are quite extraordinary, you know."

Ianto turned and faced him properly for the first time. "And you are a bloody fool. If you want Torchwood to survive and function effectively you have to get to know your team.... and I don't mean shagging them. You have to give them reason to trust you."

"Are you willing to trust me?"

Ianto couldn't help but see the plea in Jack's darkened eyes.

"You were right about Lisa, she did die in London, or least most of her did, but you handled it badly. Both of us died that day. I know you can't stay dead and somehow you managed to bring me back too. I think it's something..... it is something you shouldn't keep from the people who put their lives at risk every day for you. You're a lie in yourself, an untruth of nature. I don't understand it, don't want to and I suspect neither do you."

Ianto had no idea how much danger he was in at that point. Jack had killed a number of times to protect that secret, but somehow it was a relief to hear it spoken back to him from the mouth of this man, possibly the only one who could understand the depth of pain that his immortality caused him.

"How did you find out?"

Ianto frowned at the shaky edge to Jack's voice. "Observation. I looked Jack. I'm good at that; even Suzy didn't see it after three years of knowing you. So, how old are you in fact?"

Jack shrugged. "Lost count after I hit 150. Still looking good though."

Ianto shook his head in exasperation and passed Jack a plate of buttered toast.

"Thanks."

Ianto grabbed the mugs of tea and they went back and sat on the couch the plate of toast between them.

"My question still stands Ianto. Are you coming back to work?" Jacked asked between mouthfuls.

Ianto nodded being a far more dainty eater than Jack he actually swallowed his food before speaking.

"Yes. I don't suppose the others want me there, but they'll get used to it."

"And you and I?"

Ianto nearly gagged on his tea. "There is no you and I."

"I beg to differ....."

"You want me for sex?"

Jack shoved more toast into his mouth. "Wouldn't say no, but I was kinda hoping we COULD actually get to know one another a bit first."

Ianto threw him an icy look. "Give it up Jack why don't you shag Gwen instead?"

"She's got a boyfriend. I maybe 'a sexual predator' but I do not steal other people's partners, its more hassle than it's worth. Any way I don't want her. I want you."

"And Jack Harkness always gets what he wants, right?"

Jack nodded. "Right."

"Wrong."

**AN: AM REALLY NOT SURE ABOUT THIS PIECE, WOULD WELCOME SOME FEEDBACK. THANKS.**


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Thank you for your comments I was very uncertain about this piece.... anyway I have just done part two, a bit shorter because i wrote part one this morning and my left wrist is killing me.**

**SUSPENSION 2**

**ONE WEEK LATER**

Ianto sighed dragging the box toward his place where he was perched on the edge of his sofa. He had packed very little in his hurried departure from London all those months ago. Not that his possessions meant that much to him, most of things he had packed had belonged to Lisa. He had wanted to make sure she had them when she was finally able to come home, the only thing he had kept of his own were a few family photos and his diaries, amounting to half a box. Ianto ripped aside the packing tape and lifted the flaps. Lisa's dressing table nik nacs, her jewellery box, her perfumes and ornaments. Ianto couldn't face them as the familiar scents seeped up from the box making his eyes water with renewed regret. He closed it up and re taped the lid, another box to take back to London to Lisa's parents when he finally plucked up the courage to face them again. Pushing the box away he got to his feet and went to the kitchen and poured himself another glass of water. He drank it down. He hadn't been out to re-supply on groceries and the food and tea had run out two days ago. He knew he wouldn't cope with shopping and didn't want to do a food order on-line because he hated people knowing where he lived. So he allowed the hunger to gnaw at his gut and drank water. Ianto was well aware of the need to eat, even the want, but he just couldn't..... Lisa, or what was left her, was lying in ashes in the bottom of the Torchwood 3 incinerator. Why Jack had felt the need to inform him of this? A little dig no doubt, another twist of the knife and any excuse to show who was boss. Ianto didn't give a stuff. He had a debt to pay for the lives lost as a result of his mistake. He'd pay willingly but he'd be damned if Captain Harkness was going to get any value out of it.

Ianto left the empty glass in the sink and went back to his boxes. After some searching he found his own things and the only two packets of photos of the times he and Lisa had shared together. He suddenly decided to purge everything else. He loaded his car with everything else including the things from their bedroom and drove to London.

Four hours later and he had unloaded everything and left it with a note of apology on the Hallet's back doorstep. Something else he couldn't face. 11pm found him sitting in McDonalds in Wimbledon eating a cheeseburger and fries and reading the Telegraph.

He arrived back in Cardiff at 5am dismayed to find Jack Harkness sitting on his couch watching a TV show on his lap top.

Ianto dumped his keys and went to the kitchen to get more water. Someone had been shopping again. There was a packet of decent coffee on the counter. Ianto picked it up and came back into the lounge holding up the bag of Kenyan beans.

"I take it you brought this?"

Jack abandoned the lap top. "Peace offering." He replied getting up.

Ianto rolled his eyes in annoyance. "How much do I owe for the shopping?"

Jack shook his head. "Like I said."

He followed as Ianto went back to his kitchen. "I do not need your charity."

"I was trying to be a friend."

A glare was thrown Jack's way. "Don't bother, you're wasting your time."

"Is that because you think so little of me, or of yourself?" Jack was leaning against the door frame and looking far too at home for Ianto's liking.

"I don't appreciate you letting yourself into my flat as if you own the place."

"Torchwood regulations give me that right whilst you're under suspension."

Ianto nodded knowing full well. "Maybe, but if you do it after I come back to work I won't be held responsible for my actions."

"Duly noted."

"Good, just so long as we are clear on that and for the record, I really can't stand you, you're arrogant and selfish." Ianto set about making coffee, charity or no, he needed a decent cup. Jack watched him, his arms folded across his chest in a relaxed posture, his gaze ghosting over the beautiful young body in front of him. He couldn't help it; Ianto really was one of those rare finds.

"Stop staring at my arse or leave."

Jack sighed. "Sorry, but it is a nice arse."

"Fuck off Jack, I don't need your crap, I've had a shit day." Ianto snapped.

"Your boxes are all gone."

Ianto stopped for a moment, recognising the sympathetic tone. "Yes. I took Lisa's things to her family in London, left them on the doorstep and ran away like the coward that I am. So right about now I feel like dog shit on some one's shoe so unless you have something constructive to say shut up because I don't want to hear it."

Jack kept quiet and went back to watching the ritual that was coffee. He closed his eyes and relished the scent that rose from where Ianto was working. It evoked something in him he couldn't quite put his finger on, some sense of calm.

"I'd like Owen to be able to check you over this week, will you let him?"

"Is that an order, or a request?"

Jack huffed a little. "I'd prefer to make it a request. You don't look well. Please, Ianto just humour me on this, believe it or not I do care."

Ianto sucked in a deep breath as he turned to his coffee machine and switched it on checking the water levels, he recalled his own words of a couple of weeks ago.....'when did you ask me about my life?'. Jack was trying and Ianto had to meet him half way, if only to escape hypocrisy.

"Fine, I'll come into the Hub tomorrow." He went to the fridge to get the milk, the fridge was jammed full of food. "There's enough stuff in here to feed an army."

Jack nodded. "You look like you need it."

Ianto couldn't argue the point. "Thank you for doing it, your concern over my health is appreciated."

Jack's eyebrows climbed into his hairline and he half wondered whether Ianto was being sarcastic or not. It was damned hard to tell sometimes. Another thing he loved abo...... what? Wait a minute, did he just think that? No way. Jack straightened himself up.

"I should go. Things to do." He turned and fled in as dignified a manner as he could manage.

Ianto was left standing there feeling relieved and confused at the same time. He shrugged his shoulders and went back to making one of his special brews.

Ianto perched himself on the edge of Owen's autopsy table and quietly put up with being poked, prodded, stabbed and blinded in no particular order. He waited for Owen to finish writing up his notes before speaking.

"Are you done?"

Owen nodded rolling across the floor in his chair. "You need to eat more, your BP is too low and you're anaemic. I'll print off a diet sheet for you, I expect you to follow it and lay off the caffeine."

Ianto nodded pulling his hoodie back on.

"Are you sleeping ok?"

Ianto shook his head. "I never do Owen, even before all this started. Every time I close my eyes I see Cybermen, blades and.... well quite frankly you don't want to know."

"I was there for the clean-up, I've got an idea."

Ianto slid off the bench.

"No, you haven't."

He left the autopsy bay and by passing Tosh and Gwen without a word he went up to Jack's office tapping on the door frame before entering.

"Owen has completed his examination, sir, was there anything else before I leave?"

Jack looked up with a smile and he gestured to the chair in front of his desk.

"Sit."

Reluctantly Ianto complied. Jack got up and closed the door before parking himself on the corner of his desk too close for comfort.

"We need to discuss how things are going to be for you when you get back."

"Of course, sir."

Jack narrowed his eyes at the resentful tone. "I'm reducing your security clearance. You will also be put on field ops training. I think you will benefit from some front line experience and hopefully it will help rebuild the lost trust with the rest of the team."

Ianto nodded, aware that he deserved whatever punishment was coming, his reduced status now dropped him to the same ranking as Gwen, which would mean lower pay. Fine, it was only money.

"Yes, sir." He responded obediently but without an atom of respect. He could feel Jack studying him intently and refused to meet his gaze.

"If you and I are going to keeping up this underlying venom then this is never going to work. We're going to have to work together."

Ianto tried not to laugh at the sudden surge of bitterness that rose in his chest. He finally looked into Jack's eyes and his breath caught momentarily when he saw the hurt there.

"I have no problem with following your orders Jack. Don't expect me to start liking you as well. So often you reminded me how this isn't Torchwood One, how you are not like Yvonne Hartman and the first thing you do is kill Lisa, and the gas alien, and those Amoreks a couple of months back. You say that you try to do things better here, but only when it suits you."

Jack nodded. "Good, remind me next time before I pull the trigger then, if you feel so strongly about it." He heaved in a frustrated sigh and made a sudden decision he was certain he'd regret later.

"How good are you on boats?"

Ianto frowned. "I'm fine, why?"

"Because we are going on a little trip. I have something to show you."

Jack got up and grabbed his beloved coat.

"What is it you want me to see?"

Jack faced him with a look that made Ianto feel slightly sick. "That I am not the monster you think I am."


	3. Chapter 3

**SUSPENSION 3**

"It's the Rift." Jack said leaning against the railing looking out over the choppy water, his coat tails flapping stridently in the wind.

Like that cryptic remark could explain everything. Ianto was standing a respectable distance away leaning on the same rail and concentrating on the dipping of the horizon.

"What about the Rift?"

"Don't you know everything?"

Ianto turned his gaze to Jack, the man's body was rigid with tension, his hands gripping the cold metal bar making his knuckles white.

"I only know so much, the Rift is..... an anomaly of Time and Space, it dumps things on us and unlike the dimensional breach at Canary Wharf things come to us from all over the place and well as different times. We have little or no control over it....."

"Yeah, yeah..... the handbook spiel. The Rift rips people from their homes and families and leaves them to founder in its wake. The trouble is Ianto it doesn't just dump things on us, sometimes it takes people away as well. Since I've been in charge at Torchwood the disappearances of at least 38 people can be attributed to the Rift."

Ianto nodded slowly. "That would make sense, I su....." He trailed off thinking for a moment. "The others don't know that it can do that, do they?"

Jack was watching a seagull glide on the thermals as it arced above their heads with a mournful cawing. "Correct."

Ianto followed Jack's line of sight to the overcast sky. "How many have come back?"

Jack shot him a look, once again Ianto's perceptiveness taking him by surprise. "So far? 4 dead and 12 alive."

Ianto met his penetrating look. "You're taking me to see them aren't you?"

Jack nodded. Ianto was disconcerted by the haunted expression on his bosses' face.

"I have a facility on Flat Holm Island. It's basic, but it is safe and is run by good staff. They think the people they are caring for are victims of illegal biological and weapons experiments. I can't tell them the truth."

Ianto shook his head, so many untruths, he pulled his woollen coat more tightly about him. "And what is the truth?"

Jack was watching the sky again. "Amy, born 1897, went missing in 1906. She came back last year at a rough guess she's been away for about 4 years in her time frame. She hasn't spoken yet, she can't tolerate light, or touch and loud noises, she screamed continually for almost 8 months only sleeping when she so exhausted from the screaming. The nurses had to force feed her to keep her alive, the only thing that makes her smile is listening to Mozart and having someone read to her..... That is all the life she has left and she's one of the lucky ones." Jack was wringing his hands as he spoke. "I pay for their care because we can't send them to Hospital or reunite them with their families, because I can't leave them in the cells like animals, which is what used to happen before I took over from Alex back in 2000."

Ianto took some time to process all of this. "They can't be made public because there's nothing to be done for them, is that it?"

"If there was more, I would do it. Some of them are so seriously ill with diseases that are not known here, others are just so traumatised.... well, you'll see."

"Who else knows Jack?"

"Me, the staff who work there and now you."

Ianto shoved his hands deep into his pockets. "And you're telling me because?"

Jack heaved out a sigh. "Like I said, I want to show you that I am not without compassion and the truth is, I know you can keep a secret. I can't do this on my own. I need help, you are the ideal person to assist, consider it an order."

"Then I will do as you ask."

Jack turned away from him hitching a half smile that Ianto did not see. _I know you will._

Helen and Jack stood back in awe and watched silently as Ianto sat perched on the edge of Amy's bed in the dim light, she was beside him as he read from a tatty copy of 'The Once and Future King', her little white hand gently engulfed in his larger one. He was the first person she had voluntarily touched since arriving and Helen was beaming at Jack.

"Please tell me that you'll bring him to visit again?"

Jack nodded. "Count on it."

The moment Ianto closed his front door behind he bolted for the bathroom and threw up violently into the sink. Jack had certainly come up with a novel punishment. He stood there heaving for some time before realising that he now had a lot of mess to clean up. Ianto did just that and then stripped off and stood under a scalding shower to alleviate his bone deep chilliness. The retching didn't go away until well into the night and was renewed afresh after waking up from an especially graphic night mare.

The following morning he was in the bathroom staring at his gaunt reflection as he shaved away three days worth of stubble with trembling hands. He cut himself three times before he was done. He padded through his sparse flat to get some breakfast and ate his cereal surrounded by overwhelming silence. It was deafening and pervaded through every pore in his pale flesh. The door bell ringing almost made him leap out of his skin. Munching on a piece of toast Ianto reluctantly went to answer it. A courier was there proffering a small padded envelope.

"Sign here, please." The young man looked entirely disinterested in his job.

Ianto signed his pad and took the package without a word and closed the door. At the kitchen counter he carefully undid the parcel and found a note in Jack's familiar scrawl and a new mobile phone.

'_I found bits of your last one all over the lounge floor. Please do not trash another company phone..... send me a text with your pass code when you get this so that Tosh can activate the TW accessories._

_CJH_

_PS. Thank you for yesterday, you helped Amy where no one else could, must be that Welsh accent of yours._

Ianto sent the text and a moment later the phone was ringing and Ianto answered it. Jack's voice was sickeningly cheerful.

"Good morning Ianto."

"Sir, what can I do for you?"

"Get your arse into work, there's too much of a back log of filing... I need it done today."

Ianto tried his best not to sigh too loudly. "Of course, sir. I will be there in half an hour." _So much for my suspension then._

He felt awkward walking in through the cog door as three pairs of eyes immediately turned toward him. Jack obviously hadn't bothered to inform the team that Ianto would be in today, another twist of the blade that they were both playing with. Owen was eyeing him with open suspicion and Gwen unconsciously rolled her chair back a couple of feet to increase the distance between them. Tosh merely went back to her work. Trying to ignore the discomfort, Ianto made straight for Jack's office. He knocked before entering and Jack gestured him in with a friendly..... much too friendly smile on his face. Ianto thought he was trying just a bit too hard.

"You had some filing for me, sir?" Ianto decided to go with stoic neutrality.

Jack nodded and promptly handed over thick stack of manila files that looked extremely dated and moth eaten.

"I need all of these scanning and saving when you're done email me the files with the appropriate references for assignment to the database."

Ianto nodded, the security clearance was going to be a bug bear because he knew damn well that Jack would still get it wrong. Still, he'd deal with it later, security clearances made no difference to Ianto. He clasped the folders against his chest.

"I'll be in the tourist office then?"

Jack shook his head. "No, you'll be working down here. Tosh has set up a desk and new terminal for you."

Ianto kept his face straight; this was going to be a long war of silences and surveillance. "Of course, sir."

Ianto turned to leave.

"Oh and Ianto?"

He hesitated but didn't face Jack.

"Coffee, please. You know how I like it." The tone was laced with his usual innuendo.

Ianto did not rise to the bait. "Of course, sir."

Jack sighed as Ianto left the office, with his back ramrod straight. This was going to be much harder work than he thought it was.

Ianto settled himself at the 'new' desk rather puzzled by the stray collection of red rose petals he found on the keyboard, why on Earth would Tosh do that? He gathered them up and binned them.


	4. Chapter 4

**SUSPENSION 4**

Ianto woke up gagging and thrashing against his sheets. He panicked when his legs got tangled and ended up on the floor in a breathless shaking heap. To his horror he realised there was something in his mouth and he spat it out in a furious terror mistaking what he saw for blood. His breath hitching violently against burning lungs when he realised there was a spit soaked red rose petal on the carpet between his feet. His pounding heart thumped against his ribs and thundered in his ears as he stared at it. Nausea clutched at his gut and once again he was lunging for the bathroom. He tripped over the sheet and fell, cracking his head against the chest of drawers as he went down with a heavy thud. A Welsh curse escaped him as he rose to his feet a second time and staggered the rest of the way through blood blurred vision, he could hear childish laughter in his ears as he threw up on the tiled bathroom floor.

It was 2am when Ianto entered the Hub nursing a large egg and purpling bruise on his left temple. He wasn't certain how he had managed the walk and he was eternally grateful for the fact that Owen was there (For once) when he arrived. Owen was dealing with an old lady's corpse when he staggered down the steps into the autopsy bay.

"Jeez Ianto, what happened to you?"

The medic respectfully covered the body with a sheet before fixing his attention on Ianto. Ianto tried to remain composed but he was tired and emotional, the nightmare still fresh in his memory as well as the rose petal that had been in his mouth.

"I fell and hit my head, then I was sick." He replied. He sat heavily in a chair and Owen pulled out his hand scanner.

"You been drinking?"

"No. I woke from a bad dream."

A bright light was shone into his eyes for far too long to be comfortable.

"Well I don't think you have a concussion, but you'll have a shiner in the morning. Won't need any stitches either, I'm going to take some blood, check your iron levels and blood glucose."

Ianto held out his arm and turned his face away from the needle.

"Who is the old lady?"

"Some friend of Jack's. We were about to call you in actually, you're on clean up duty with Jack back at her house, just as soon as he's done blubbering into his whiskey."

Ianto sighed. "I see. What happened to her?"

Owen finished up and taped a cotton ball to Ianto's skin. "Well, she died, obviously!"

Jack took one look at Ianto's forehead and decided that he would do the driving. He half considered taking Gwen to clear Estelle's house, but he'd had quite enough of her questions for one night. Kind as her intentions were; he just wasn't in the mood for her gushing sympathy right now. When they arrived at Estelle's house Jack turned to face Ianto.

"I'll need you to find Moses." He said flatly.

If he wasn't so sore Ianto would have raised his eyebrows. "And Moses is?"

"A cat, a nice black and white cat. You can handle that can't you?" Jack snapped.

Ianto nodded. "Of course, sir. I'll find him." He got out of the SUV and went to the boot to get a small containment case.

As it happened it took Ianto less than ten minutes to bag the cat. Once done he returned to the SUV and put the cat in the box on the back seat and touched the com in his ear.

"I have the cat sir, do you want me to come and assist you inside?" his tone was a neutral as ever.

"No, wait in the SUV. I'll be out shortly."

Ianto sat in the front in the front passenger listening to the cat growling and swearing angrily and watching the trees swaying in the bleak night. He must have drifted off because he was jarred into wakefulness by Jack getting behind the wheel with a sombre expression on his face that was match for Ianto's. Jack keyed the ignition.

"What happened to your face?"

"Hit my head at home. Owen checked me. I'm ok if you don't include the throbbing behind my eyes." Ianto replied turning to look at the pile of things Jack had dumped on the seat next to the cat carrier. "What did you want me to do with the cat?"

"Just try to get him rehomed for me, please."

Ianto nodded. "Of course, sir."

Jack's grip tightened on the steering wheel with annoyance. "Your 'of course sir' is really starting to piss me off."

Ianto allowed himself him a tiny victory smile. "You are my superior officer, what else do you expect me to call you?"

"My name."

Ianto turned and faced him this time his face bland. "And what would that be, sir?"

Jack slammed on the brakes and faced him, enraged. "You are a nasty little shit aren't you? What is it Ianto? Why are you so hell bent on fighting me?"

Ianto maintained his composure. "All I did was ask you your name. I know full well it isn't Jack Harkness. Captain Jack Harkness died in 1941 on a training exercise. You accused me of lying sir, of hiding myself...."

"Get out!"

Ianto acknowledged the danger he faced with that tone and unfastened his seat belt.

"If you want to earn my respect sir, if you and I are going to stop dancing around this minefield then I suggest you start being honest with me." He got out and slammed the door shut. Jack sped away without looking back. Shaking his head, Ianto walked home unnerved by the feeling of being watched as he hurried along.


	5. Chapter 5

**SUSPENSION 5**

Ianto practically ran the two miles home, head bowed down against the chill of the dawn. He fumbled messily with his keys and stumbled into his flat slamming the door behind him. He froze on the door mat gaping in terror at the carpet, covered in a dusting of blood red petals, hundreds of them. Ianto leaned heavily against the door and sank down with a whimper. It was some moments before he collected himself enough to pull out his mobile phone and call his sister. He'd forgotten how early it was and his estranged sibling was not pleased to hear his voice until she realised he was crying.

"Rhia, the flowers are back. The red flowers they are all over my house." He broke down completely.

Jack stomped through the Hub and roughly dumped the cat carrier on the couch behind Tosh's desk on his way past to his office. Gwen and Tosh both watched him sweep by and Gwen got straight to her feet to follow him, only to be yelled at a moment later. She beat a hasty retreat, wondering why Ianto hadn't come back with him.

"I wonder what Ianto's done now." She muttered.

Tosh sighed. "Stay out of it, if you know what's good for you."

Gwen nodded thinking that was good advice. "Coffee?"

Tosh smiled. "Yes, please."

Rhiannah Evans leapt out of her car and ran to her brother's front door. Ianto opened it before she had even raised her hand to knock on it. She took in his bruised face as he stepped aside to allow her through. Her eyes drifted down to the carpet.

"Oh my God."

She turned and reached up to hug her younger sibling. Ianto had been plagued by the 'petal men' in his childhood, he had been terrified by them. Their parents had passed it off as some childish fantasy and Ianto had stopped talking about it to them when he was five, he was 10 before they had stopped bothering him. Sometimes when he refused to play they had hurled his things around the room and once he had woken up choking on rose petals, Rhiannah had been the only person to ever believe him.

She stepped back examining his pale face with worry. "You look terrible Yan, did they do this to you?"

"I got a fright, I fell over and hit my head. They've been following me. Rhia I am scared, why have they come back? What have I done?" _what hadn't he done?_

"Well for a start, lets clean up the mess." Rhiannah was at a loss, she had no idea how to deal with these things.

Ianto nodded feeling slightly calmer in his sister's presence. He half wondered if he should be calling Jack about now. Ianto immediately dismissed the idea, after their last conversation Ianto decided he'd be lucky if he still had a job to go back to. Anyway what could Torchwood do about this?

They worked in silence picking up the petals and dumping them in a bin liner and suddenly the door bell was ringing just as they were picking up the last ones. Ianto heaved out a sigh and opened the front door. Jack was there, cat carrier in hand. Ianto's eyes nearly popped out of his head.

"Er.... Sir, you'd better come in."

Jack stepped over the threshold and almost walked into Rhia as she came out of the kitchen to dispose of the bin bag.

"Rhia, my sister. This is Jack my boss."

They exchanged muted hellos.

"Ianto, we have to talk."

Ianto rather flustered by the events of the morning didn't hesitate. "Yes. Come through. Is that Moses?" Ianto took the box and making sure the front door was closed he let the cat out. It shot off out of the lounge with a hiss.

"He'll be alright. I'll take care of him."

Jack nodded. Rhiannah came back into the room and immediately sensed that she wasn't welcome by Ianto's visitor.

"Yan, I'll back later." She kissed his cheek and left in a hurry.

Jack watched her go. "I didn't know you had a sister."

An awkward silence settled between them and Jack was beginning to wonder what the hell he was doing there. He was tired and hurting, more so than he had been in a long time.

"What do you want, sir?"

"We can't go on like this. You were out of line last night."

Ianto folded his arms across his chest defensively, quite frankly he was more worried about the 'petal men'.

"I know. I apologise. Perhaps I was more angry with you than I first thought. Given what happened to your friend yesterday, what I did was cruel and spiteful." He replied half heartedly looking at a fascinating piece of carpet at his feet.

Jack nodded. "Thank you, apology accepted."

"I need time Jack, to forgive you, that is."

Jack's hands found their way into his coat pockets. "I think we both do. I keep my secrets for a damn good reason Ianto and I sure as hell don't have to justify them to the likes of you. You are right Jack isn't the name that my parents gave me, but it is who I am now, who I have been for a long time. I'm asking you to just accept that and trust me. I don't expect you to like me. Just operate under some kind of truce, especially in front of the others."

"I'll try, sir." He decided it would be much easier to tow the party line right now.

"Good."

The silence came back and Ianto began to feel even more awkward. "I'm sorry about your friend."

Jack seemed to snap out of his reverie. "Yeah, so am I." He heaved in a breath. "I expect you at work tomorrow for firearms training 9 am sharp."

"Yes sir."

Jack retreated to his office slamming the door behind him. Gwen, Owen and Toshiko had made their feelings quite clear. Jack knew he had had no choice, the little girl, or the end of the world. Strictly no contest. He didn't expect them to understand or take on the responsibility of such a decision, but a bit of sympathy would have been nice. He pulled out the bottle of scotch from the bottom desk draw and decided that tonight was a good night to get drunk and put a bullet through his head. He needed to grieve in peace and was glad that the others had finally gone home and left him to it. He unscrewed the bottle cap and was about to take a long draught when his mobile started to ring. More than a little pissed off at the interruption he delved his hand into the pocket of his great coat and took the call.

It was Ianto, three words screamed in terror. 'Help me please.'

Jack was at the steering wheel of the SUV within a minute.


	6. Chapter 6

**SUSPENSION 6**

Ianto stripped out of his clothes and dumped them into the plastic laundry basket in the bathroom. He was irritable and tired and after downing a couple of sleeping pills and a half dozen aspirin he stood under a under a scalding shower. He splayed his hands against the tiles and leaned into the powerful jet of water, letting the heat soak into sore muscles. He sank into his bed an hour later and was instantly asleep.

He awoke to laughter; the happy giggly laughter of a child. Ianto's eyes snapped open in panic. Fully awake, he tried to lurch up and found he couldn't move and a shadow was straddled across his body, a rank darkness that was laughing down at him and glaring through slitted glowing eyes. Terror seized him and blindly Ianto reached his hand out to his left and grabbed his mobile from the cabinet next to his bed. The weight on his abdomen increased, pressing him down into the mattress. Vile breath fluttered across his face and the darkness loomed above him. His fingers frantically scrabbled at the buttons on his phone, he had no idea who he was calling, he started screaming as a gnarled hand shot out of the black and jammed itself down his throat. The phone slipped from his grasp as he writhed against the suffocation. Suddenly the hand was gone from his mouth. He gagged spitting out flower petals, but he still couldn't move.

"Come with us child."

Ianto cringed at the many voices in his darkened room, coughing against the things still in his mouth and trying to push against the creature that straddled him. Claws had gripped at his shoulders, the stench in his nostrils renewed.

"Please, go away.... please.... ple....." He was crying like a child himself. Fear overwhelming his senses.

"Come with us chosen one, we have a new friend to join us.... come." It was an acerbic demand as greater force pushed against his body.

Ianto wept openly now, but shook his head. "No... please."

"Then no one else can have you, you are ours chosen one!"

Claws were shoved into his mouth and Ianto's struggles were futile as the fingers made their way down his throat. Stars exploded in his vision and nausea rose in his gut. He was vaguely aware of a loud crash, shouting and gunshots. Everything went black.

The moment Jack saw the petals on the floor he charged through the flat. He could hear their laughter, and Ianto's muted cries. Webley in hand he kicked in the bedroom and bellowed.

"Get the fuck away from him!" He fired off two shots at the creature crouched over Ianto's still form on the bed. The faerie swung round and hissed at him before vanishing into thin air. Suddenly the room was light again and Ianto lay there, unmoving amid a tangle of sheets and piles of red petals. Jack holstered his gun and quickly moved to Ianto's side to check for signs of life. The moment he touched the young man he lunged up screaming. Ianto threw himself off the bed and past Jack and fled from the flat out on to the street. Cursing, Jack gave chase and as he came out of the front door he watched in horror as Ianto ran into the road and was hit by a passing car. The impact threw him against the side of a parked vehicle, he crumpled to the tarmac a moment later. The car sped away without slowing down or stopping. Jack yanked out his phone and dialled for an ambulance as he ran to Ianto's side.

Owen shoved open the door with a curse, just to make his point. He was in a seriously foul mood. He was angry with his boss and even angrier with the stupid Tea Boy who'd gotten into trouble again. The Londoner got himself all psyched up for an argument with Jack and then he saw the older man's face and immediately changed his mind.

Jack was pacing the corridor outside emergency room 4 in Cardiff AnE. The doctors were still working on Ianto. He looked up when he heard the familiar colourful tomes of Owen's accent.

"What the hell's going on boss?"

Jack actually had to take a moment to gather his thoughts. "Ianto. He rang me earlier. He was screaming for help so I went to his flat and found one of those Faeries with it's hand down his throat. I shot at it and it vanished, but Ianto came round in a fright and ran out of his flat and straight into a passing car."

"Shit! How is he?"

Jack gestured to the door behind him. "Don't know yet, but it can't be good. He was unconscious all the way here in the ambulance and the paramedics stuck a thing down his throat to help him breathe."

Owen peered through the little window. "That isn't good, were you hurt?"

Jack shook his head. "I'm fine. Just wondering why in hell they were attacking Ianto."

"I thought those things only went for children."

"Yeah, that's what I thought too." Jack sighed running his hands through his hair. "Can you go in there and find out how he is. I need to call his sister; I think she should be here when he wakes up."

Owen nodded and pushed through the swing door.

Rhiannah burst through the main doors to AnE with her hair in complete disarray and her bright blue eyes wide with worry. Jack smiled remembering her from their first brief meeting, she was just as beautiful second time round. It was easy to see that she was related to Ianto, the same dark curling hair and brilliant eyes with a slight upturning of the nose.

"Mrs Evans." He stepped forward holding out a hand. She grasped it firmly but only for a moment.

"Mr Harkness, where is my brother?"

Jack offered up a calming smile. "The doctor's are looking at him right now. I need to talk to you before you go in to see him." He carefully grasped her shoulder and steered in the direction of a row of plastic chairs.

Reluctantly Rhiannah allowed herself to be lead, she slumped down into one of the chairs and faced the handsome man smiling at her, Ianto's boss enigmatic boss. She sighed wondering what on Earth Torchwood had done to her brother now, she had rather hoped that he would quit them after the bombings at Canary Wharf.

"I have some questions for you. They may seem a little odd, but humour me please. I'm trying to help Ianto but I need some answers and I think you may know some of them."

Rhiannah nodded uncertainly. "Is he going to be ok?"

"I hope so. When I saw you in Ianto's house yesterday, you'd been helping him clean up.... Red flower petals by any chance?"

Her face paled visibly. It was all the confirmation Jack needed.

"Can you tell me about them?"

Rhiannah clasped her gloved hands in her lap and looked at them for a moment, gathering herself.

"It's a long story." She muttered.

"I have plenty of time, please, anything you can tell me."

"It started years ago, when Ianto was about four. I was seven. He er..... he got night mares. Well I think that's what they were. He'd wake up crying almost every night, getting Mam and Tad out of bed with his screaming and refusing to sleep in his bed. Sometimes he'd wreck his room and destroy his clothes and toys. I'd hear him at night crashing about in his bed room." Rhiannah angrily wiped at a tear that its way down her cheek. "It went on for years. I hated him for it because he always got Mam and Tad's undivided attention. He had lots of visits to the hospital while I was left at our Aunties house and I hated him more and more. I used to bully him and tell lies to Mam about things he'd done. He kept saying the petal men were coming to get him. It got so bad that he had to be medicated at night to make him sleep and then he was put on Ritolin.... I didn't know it was that at the time.... I just...." She hitched a breath. "He made our lives a misery, for years. He was always sick and frightened. I just thought he was making it all up. Then one day I went into his room to tell him to shut up and I saw this.... thing there. It was holding Ianto by his hair with one hand and the other hand was down his throat. He was trying to get free. It didn't see me until I screamed.... and then it vanished and Ianto was trying to breathe and he ran and hid under his bed and cried and he wouldn't come out. I tried to tell Mam and Tad but they didn't believe me and told me not to feed into his fantasies....."

Jack passed her a tissue and she wiped at her eyes.

"I'm sorry."

Rhiannah looked at him, surprised the genuine tone of his voice. "It's not your fault."

"What happened, after that?"

"I knew he wasn't making it up. I realised I had been wrong all that time and my little brother had had no one to turn to, no one who would believe in him. I looked after him as best as I could, snuck into his room every night to make sure that thing didn't come back. I'd lie there cuddling him and hear noises like laughter and in the morning there would be petals everywhere. Then it stopped, just after Ianto's 10th birthday. It just stopped. He slowly got better, but he never really completely got over it. Then Tad died. Ianto doesn't know, but when I found Tad's body there were rose petals in his mouth. I took them out before the police arrived. They said he died from heart failure, but I know that thing killed him...."

Jack had to admire her stoicism and half wondered if all the Jones family were just as tough. He gently squeezed her shoulder. "Thank you for telling me, I know that can't have been easy."

"You believe me?"

Jack nodded. "Every word."

Her eyes widened for a moment, comprehending. "You know them, don't you?"

"We've crossed paths a couple of times before. Come on, lets find out how Ianto is doing."

**AN: Toobeauty, for you and 'no worries'.......and thank you everyone for your reviews. Deeta**


	7. Chapter 7

**SUSPENSION 7**

Jack stepped on to the ward waving his Torchwood credentials at a member of nursing staff, she obligingly gestured to where Owen was standing next to an occupied bed. The medic was reading through Ianto's medical charts as Jack and Rhia approached. Rhia settled herself at her brother's bedside and grasped his hand in hers. Jack shoved his hands into his pockets, ignoring the unconscious man in the bed and smiling at Owen in a way that did nothing to convince the Londoner that his boss was at all ok with the events of the day.

"How is he?" Jack kept his voice low and Owen went back to perusing the data on the charts.

"Amazingly not too seriously injured; mostly bruising, a cracked rib. His throat is damaged but he can breathe independently. Physically he'll be fine in a few days. Mentally, he's an emotional wreck.... aside from what happened the other week. He had to be sedated to calm him down. What exactly is going on?"

Jack grasped his arm. "I'll tell you over coffee." He then turned to Rhia who was focussed on her sibling.

"Coffee?"

She offered up a tired smile. "No. I won't be able to stay long. I left the kids with my neighbours."

Jack nodded. "Well, we'll be back in a minute, could you stay until then?"

She nodded.

Having got very dubious looking coffee from a machine Owen and Jack took seats in the corridor outside the ward where Ianto was resting.

"I spoke to Ianto's sister. Apparently the Faeries used to torment him when he was a kid. I think he is a chosen one, like Jasmine."

Owen was confused. "So why is he not with them?"

"I'm guessing, but I think he refused their offer. Rhia tells me they started on him when he was about 4 years old and they finally left when he was 10. His parents had him medicated on something called Ritolin because they thought he was mentally ill."

Owen scowled, it was one drug he had never approved of, and drugging children.... that did not compute in his eye. "Shit. Ok, so why did they choose him?"

Jack abandoned the disgusting coffee. "I'm not certain. I sensed he was different when I first met him, but I am not sure what it is."

"You realise, none of what you have just told me is on his medical records."

"It's not on his personnel file either. I didn't even know he had a sister until the other day. I'm guessing he purged the file and rewrote it sometime between Canary Wharf and starting with us. Can't say I blame him. There's more going on here. I just wish I knew what it was. Is he well enough to be brought back to the Hub?"

Owen nodded. "Yeah, should be no problem."

Rhiannah sat hunched over the edge of the bed, gently petting her brother's hair and singing soothingly in Welsh as he slept. His young face drawn with a deep frown under the oxygen mask. Jack was standing back watching as Owen went to talk to the ward sister advising her that they would be removing Ianto from the care of the hospital. She was not looking at all happy about it either. Finally the two of them were at the bedside.

"Rhia, you should go home now. We'll be taking care of Ianto and I promise to call you to let you know how he's doing." Jack said gently patting her shoulder. She looked up at him with reddened eyes.

"Where are you taking him?"

"Protective custody. I can't give you the location, but I promise he will be safe."

Rhiannah was not reassured and she glared at Jack and then Owen. "You can't just take him out of here!"

"Actually love, we can. I'm his doctor." Owen responded none too kindly.

The young Welsh woman was outraged. "Leave him alone. He's still sick, you can't just...."

Jack gripped her shoulders and steered her away from the bed, trying to put on his best firm but comforting look.

"Mrs Evans. Ianto is in danger. We cannot protect him here or risk anyone else getting hurt. I promise he will be well taken care of, but he is coming with us."

Rhiannah threw him a filthy look. "Well taken care of? Like the care he got after that attack in London that killed all his colleagues and his girlfriend? I don't know what it is he does at work, I don't want to know but you Torchwood people treated him like shit, still treat him that way so far as I can see....."

Jack's glare shut her up mid tirade. "I said we will take care of him. I meant it. You will just have to trust me."

"I want regular updates and be able to see him."

Jack closed his eyes for moment, getting really fed up. "Updates, no visits. It's the best I can offer."

They glared at one another fiercely and finally Rhiannah backed down. "Alright." She pulled out her mobile phone from her coat pocket. "What's your number?"

Jack gave her the number for the tourist office.

With the help of another dose of sedative, Ianto slept through the entire transfer to the Hub's autopsy bay. He finally came round to the sounds of Myfanwy's squawking and the feeling of some one's fingers gently massaging his scalp. His body ached and his throat was raw but he found the will to open his eyes and the white tiled room came into sharp focus along with a nauseating pain in his skull. The massaging stopped for a moment and then Jack's concerned face came into view.

"Oh... Jack I..."

"Ssshh, quiet now. Try to rest you've got a lot of drugs in your system."

Ianto closed his eyes again. "What happened?" And then someone switched the light on in his brain. "Oh... no.... Jack The Petal Men, did you see them?"

"Ssshh, you're safe now. I chased it off. Come on Ianto try to sleep...we'll talk later."

Jacks soothing tones sank into his consciousness and Ianto felt himself drifting again. "I don't want to go, Jack. They keep trying to make me go with them, but I don't want to go."

Jack's fingers worked their magic through his hair again and Ianto half wondered what an Earth he had done to warrant such an affectionate gesture. "I don't want to go..."

Jack sat back on his stool and watched as Ianto sank back into the depths of sleep. He was aware of Owen moving about in his peripheral vision.

"That should keep him out until morning. I've completed my scans, there's stuff still stuck in his lungs, for some reason it didn't show on the chest X-rays done at the hospital so he'll have to go on IV antibiotics for a couple days. His breathing hasn't been compromised so he should be ok."

Jack nodded. "Set that up, then go home and get some rest. I'll stay with him."

Owen did as he was told, still not feeling overly sympathetic toward the Welshman in his care.

Jack sat on the stool and watched the puzzle that was Ianto Jones, the man who could write a paper on the art of keeping secrets. Perhaps the art had been instilled in him during his childhood experiences becoming second nature in adulthood. Jack found himself wondering if anyone had ever truly known the real Ianto Jones. Why were the Mara so interested in this rather unremarkable young man? Jack knew otherwise, there was nothing unremarkable about him, the incident with Lisa had proven that. Much as Jack hated to admit to himself, Ianto had managed to pull a fast one on all of them. He had fooled all of them except Suzie and she had exploited him, hiding herself in plain sight in the same way that he was. He heaved out a sigh, wholly reminded once again of his own failings. Shit, sometimes he really hated this life. But looking down at the young man sleeping in front of him Jack couldn't help but think that maybe, just maybe, he had been given a gift; some one more than capable of challenging his questionable morals and ways of conducting himself. Maybe he needed that 21st century perspective and Ianto certainly wasn't afraid to stand up to him. Of course the cute arse and very pretty face were an added bonus. Jack wondered if they would ever get past their mistrust and start communicating with one another without the insults and barbs. He was tired of sparring with Ianto, tired of not being able to show that he really did care, more even than he was ready to admit, even to himself. Unconsciously he carded his fingers through the short dark curls of soft hair, tracing circles over the back of his too warm neck. The boy deserved a break, someone he could reach out to and trust enough to share his pain with. Jack fully intended to be there for him, no matter what Ianto threw back in his face.

**AN: I hope this isn't too sappy! I know I have other stories on hold...apologies...I WILL GET BACK TO THEM! And thanks again for the reviews, it's really nice to get them. Deeta.**


	8. Chapter 8

**SUSPENSION 8**

Ianto rolled on to his side dragged into consciousness by the need to pee, the rather urgent need to pee. He lurched up and realised he was on the autopsy table hooked up to one of Owen's IV lines, no wonder he needed to relieve himself. His gaze settled on Jack who was sitting up to attention and stretching at the same time. Ianto opened his mouth to speak and something resembling a croak escaped from his lips.

Jack got to his feet and immediately proffered a glass of water and suddenly Ianto's bladder felt like it had expanded beyond his limits to control it. He gave Jack a rather desperate look.

"I really need the bathroom." It scraped over his throat like sandpaper, but Jack obviously understood because he closed off the line to the IV and detached him. Ianto veritably leapt off the bench and padded barefoot at great speed to the bathroom, the back of his NHS robe falling open revealing a pert arse. Jack was hot on his heels enjoying the view and worrying that he'd fall flat on his face, which he promptly did. Jack hauled him to his feet.

"Careful, Jones, you must be really desperate." He muttered with a smile. Ianto shrugged out of his grasp.

"Very."

Jack decided not to follow him into the bathroom and was quietly relieved when Ianto emerged a few moments later looking considerably more comfortable.

"Thanks sir."

Jack nodded and steered him back in the direction of the autopsy bay. Ianto resumed his place on the cot and Jack put up his next dose of IV antibiotics and fluids.

"How are you feeling?"

Ianto lay down. "Sore and confused. I thought I was in hospital..... Did I run into the road?"

Jack nodded, resisting the urge to pat down the younger man's unruly hair.

"Can you remember anything else?" He busied himself with recording the readings from Owen's monitors, trying not to take in the sight of Ianto's naked legs and the rather short NHS gown he was still wearing.

Ianto closed his eyes as he tugged the cotton cover about him. "I remember going to bed early. I was tired.... then I.... Oh shit!" His eyes snapped open, wide with remembered fear. "You were there, you saw it. That thing, you saw it didn't you?"

Jack flinched at the abject horror in Ianto's pale face. "Yes I saw it. They are called Faeries, or Mara."

Ianto sat up and drew his knees into his chest. "They have a name? I thought fairies were supposed to be the nice shiny pretty things with wings that left 10p under your pillow when you lost a tooth."

Jack's eyebrows climbed into his hairline, what the hell was Ianto talking about? His puzzlement was rewarded with an exasperated eye roll.

"Please tell me you've heard of the tooth fairy?"

Jack came up blank.

Ianto shook his head and actually smiled. It was a beautiful thing to behold.

"So, what do you remember about last night?"

"I'd rather not.... It wanted me to go with it, and when I refused it.... well it was choking me. I couldn't throw it off, then I think you came in. I'm not sure to be honest. I remember being in the hospital and hearing Rhia. Was she there?"

Jack nodded. "I called her." He wasn't sure how much he should say but decided to go for the truth. "I asked her a lot of questions, she told me about your childhood dealings with the Mara, how they pestered you for all that time."

Ianto's heart sank and he dropped his face into his knees. "It was so long ago. I can hardly remember it. I was just scared all the time except when I got given the tablets.... so many fucking pills. I took me years to get off the bloody things..... Those.... Mara....Petal Men.... they wanted me to go with them then too. I was scared of them."

"That was smart, they are incredibly dangerous."

Ianto wasn't certain he wanted to know, let alone remember the demons of his childhood memories. "What are they sir?"

Jack resumed his seat. "Old creatures that flit backwards and forwards through time at random. They pick children to join them..... "

"Chosen Ones." Ianto muttered.

"Yes, you're the first one I've met who has refused them. My friend, Estelle Cole who died the other day was murdered by them."

Ianto looked at Jack. "Why?"

Jack shrugged. "I don't really know. She always believed that they were good, but they killed her because they could. They like to torment and tease and are inherently evil. I think as a child you instinctively knew that."

"So why am I a chosen one? I'm not exactly anything special."

Jack offered up a brief smile. "You must be gifted in some way. They are very selective. I'm guessing you are empathic on some level...."

Ianto frowned at him. "How did you know that?"

"I didn't. But you do have an uncanny ability of predicting people's needs and wants..... I'm presuming that little tit bit of information was removed from your records?"

The younger man nodded. "I didn't want to be subjected to more tests when I started here. Yvonne made me sit through copious amounts of testing, then she had me sitting in on meetings and spying on the emotions of delegates and UNIT officials, like a sort of psi radar. It was most unethical, I did not like being used in such a manner."

A long and tired sigh escaped Jack's lips. "Typical T1. So how much can you sense?"

Ianto appeared to think about this for a moment. "Right now, you are tired, a little anxious and.... angry. You are also sad..... that's by far the strongest feeling." His brow knitted with concentration, trying to shut out what he felt.

"Right, bang on. Can you shut it out?"

"Yes. I think I learnt to do it as a kid. I've kept everything open for months though, so I could listen to Lisa...." He sucked in a breath. "It's why I did what I did. I could sense her pain and fear and when I was with her I could feel her faith in me."

Jack's gut clenched. "I'm sorry you lost her, but I am not sorry for what I did."

Ianto nodded. "I understand, but I will never forgive it." He kept his tone as neutral as he could, not wanting another argument to unfold.

"You still hate me?"

Ianto shook his head, aware of the sudden wave of relief coming from Jack. "I'm just glad I don't have to make the choices you are faced with. I loved her sir, she was the only person, ever in my life never to take advantage of me. She took me as I was, for all my faults and sleepless nights she was there for me, my first and only love..... Maybe I should go to the Mara, because there really is nothing else for me."

Jack really didn't know what to say to him next so he decided to say something he probably shouldn't. "There is always a place for you here. I know things won't be easy for you and you'll need time, but I want you to stay and believe me going to the Mara is not something you would want. You are a good man Ianto, the Mara are..... would destroy that part of you and that would be a great loss."

"They're never going to leave me alone, are they?"

"I honestly don't know." He really didn't.

**AN: Next chapter is not going to be very nice.......**


	9. Chapter 9

**SUSPENSION 9**

"What am I going to do, sir? I mean if they keep coming back, how do I get rid of them?"

"I don't know Ianto. Faerie Lore is not something I know a lot about."

Ianto gazed about the autopsy bay. "Maybe there is something in the archives."

Jack wasn't hopeful. "I'm going to make some coffee, you want some?"

Ianto shook his head. "No disrespect sir, but your coffee is diabolical, the IV drip will do just nicely thanks."

"Fine, but you don't know what you're missing."

"Oh, I believe I do, sir." Ianto settled himself back down to try and sleep a bit more, even though the autopsy table was damned uncomfortable. "We really must get a proper cot in here." He complained, mostly to himself.

"Put it on the next requisition order." Jack said over his shoulder as he walked up the steps.

Ianto slid back into sleep.

Jack wandered up to the kitchen and decided against touching Ianto's precious machine so he settled for a specially bought 'in case of emergencies' coffee bag instead, it was marginally better than instant. He whistled to himself as he waited for the kettle to boil and went venturing into the cupboards to find some chocolate biscuits. Once fully supplied he took his plate of snacks and mug of coffee up to his office, leaving the door open should Ianto call out for anything. He was quietly relieved that some of the venom toward him from Ianto seemed to have dissipated, too many other things on his mind, no doubt. All he wanted was for Ianto to trust him, but most of all for him to heal after the whole Lisa thing. He was still angry himself over what had happened and may be that was part of the problem. He sat down at his desk and sagged at the sight of the paper work that needed his attention. Well, now was as good a time as any.

Ianto awoke to the sound of a resounding crash. He lurched up looking around him with wide frightened eyes, another crash, and gun fire. Jack's Webley. Ianto yanked out the IV line and got off the bench, nearly sinking to the floor with a head rush. Feeling more than a little vulnerable in his hospital gown he edged up the steps into the main part of the Hub. He felt the air move around his face and heard the chitter of laughter. Ianto froze, the Hub was a mess, every piece of equipment had been tossed to the floor. Sparks fizzing up from one of Tosh's broken monitors.

"Sir?"

Movement to his right caught his eye and Ianto flinched as a shadow darted across the Victorian brickwork. There was a piercing screech and Myfanwy swooped down in a low arc around the tower. Ianto's heart pounded under his ribs.

"Shit! Jack?" He looked up in the direction of Jack's office and felt his gut tighten at the sight of a trail of petals leading under the door. Without thinking Ianto ran up the steps.

"Jack?" He flung open the door and stopped in his tracks. The office had been completely trashed and his boss lay still, sprawled awkwardly amid the wreckage surrounded by a dusting of red tokens and the faint echoes of laughter that were starting to die away. Catching his breath Ianto lunged to his knees at Jacks side and gently rolled him onto to his back. He gasped in shock as he looked into wide dead eyes. Ianto fell back and shuffled against the upturned desk pulling his legs under him to increase his distance from Jack's body.

"Oh God, oh God." He jammed his knuckles into his mouth, he knew Jack couldn't die, right? So why was he laying there dead? Long minutes slid by, punctuated by Ianto's tearful snuffling and his heart beat thudding in his ears.

Suddenly Jack's body jerked violently and he hauled in a strangled, noisy breath as he struggled to sit up. Ianto gaped and was brought out of his shock by the sound of a phone ringing.

Jack shuddered off the last vestiges of his 'death by faerie' and scrabbled in his pocket for his mobile, suddenly aware of Ianto's presence across the almost destroyed room. He took the call, reaching an imploring hand out in Ianto's direction. Instinctively Ianto took it, pleased to be reassured that Jack was, in fact, alive."

"Jack Harkness speaking."

The call had been relayed from the tourist office phone, and Jack listened, a deep frown etching across his face.

"Ok..... calm down..... calm down. We're on our way." He hung up and faced Ianto who was still holding on to his hand like a vice.

"Ianto?"

The young man snapped out of his reverie and pulled his hand away. "Jack!"

"You need to get dressed, can you stand?"

Taken off guard Ianto just nodded and hauled himself to his feet using the upturned desk as leverage.

"Get dressed and meet me at the SUV, quickly!"

Ianto did as he was told.

As soon as he had gone Jack dialled Owen's number.

"Owen? Yeah, hi. We have an emergency. The Mara are at Ianto's sister's house, meet me there as soon as you can. 17,Gethin Rise..... Yes, that's right and bring your med kit. Ianto and I are leaving the Hub now."

Ianto threw on a pair of jeans and sweat shirt from his locker and pulled his trainers on bare feet and raced to the SUV. Jack was already at the wheel, waiting for him when he got there.

"Where are we going Jack?" Ianto demanded fastening his seatbelt as Jack floored the accelerator.

"Your sister's."

Ianto went white. "Oh, God Jack, please tell me it's not them."

"I'm afraid it is."

Jack broke the speed limit all the way, fortunately four am driving through Cardiff was pretty easy and he slammed on the brakes outside Rhiannah's front door less than twenty minutes later. Ianto was first out, gun in hand shooting off the lock and charging in without hesitation or care. He could hear his nieces screaming upstairs and he ran, Jack only a pace behind. They burst into the bed room at the front of the house. Rhiannah was huddled, shielding her toddler daughters with her body against the wardrobe and three Mara were zipping about the room ripping clothes and throwing anything they could get their hands on as they flew and bounced about in the air. They were laughing and screeching. The moment Ianto entered the room they stopped and hovered in the air grinning toothily at him.

"The chosen one has come. Lets us play.... come on little boy.... time to play."

Ianto looked from their ugly faces to the three remaining members of his family crouching and whimpering in terror. He felt suddenly sick and very frightened. Jack's breath brushed against the back of his neck. The Mara had never bothered his family before, only him. Only ever him. Ianto's arms dropped limply to his sides. He returned his gaze to the Petal Men, their slanted eyes studying him with open curiosity and malice. One of them hissed at Jack, bearing it's needle like teeth and foul breath. Ianto edged forwards in the direction of his sister and his path was blocked eliciting a shriek from Rhiannah. In that moment Ianto realised he had but one choice. He turned and addressed the Mara closest to him.

"If I come with you, will leave my family alone?"

It hissed again, it's elf like ears flattening against its skull. "Come with us... we leave in peace."

Jack's hand sank down onto his shoulder in a tight grip. "What the hell are you doing Ianto?"

Ianto spun round and pressed his gun into Jack's hand. "Protecting the only things I have left." He turned back to face his nemesis. "You must promise."

The Mara edged forwards and pawed at his sweatshirt. "We promise."

Ianto nodded. "Then I'll come."

No sooner had he spoken the words than he vanished along with the Mara, right in front of Jack's and Rhiannah's eyes. Leaving Rhiannah's screams of "No." in their wake.


	10. Chapter 10

**SUSPENSION 10**

It felt like fire running through his veins as the real world suddenly vanished in front of his eyes. His last coherent recollection was his sister's scream as white hot light enveloped him and snatched him away. It was as if his very essence had been wrenched from his bones, spinning him round so fast, his world became a confusion of noise and colour. Suddenly the gulf of history opened up and flooded through his synapses, time itself become his blood, pumping so stridently through him that he thought his heart would explode. Ianto thought he had opened his mouth but when he screamed a blanket deaded the sound and all he could hear was a blustering wind, though he could not feel anything against his skin. Panic gripped him as he completely lost control of his senses. It was too much, the past, the present and the far distant future overwhelming him with knowledge he didn't want, couldn't cope with. He had no meaning in this place, no relevance and no foot hold as he spiralled deeper into the abyss.......

It took Jack a moment to come to his senses, comprehension sinking in like a lead weight in his gut. Snapping out of his stunned reverie he moved to Rhiannah's side reaching out a hand in comfort. She faced him, her two young children still clutched to her sides, her eyes ablaze.

"You bring him back. You get him back!"

Jack gave her an imploring, apologetic look. "I'm sorry, there's nothing I can do."

At that moment Owen burst into the room, gun in hand med bag slung over his shoulder. Jack leapt to his feet and raised his arms.

"It's ok Owen. Crisis over, lower your weapon." He pulled the medic back out of the room away from the sight of Rhiannah and spoke in low tones so as not to be over heard.

"The Mara have taken Ianto. I'll need you to Retcon Rhiannah and the children. Just implant the memory that he is missing, I think that would be best."

Owen holstered his weapon as Jack spoke. "Why did they take the Tea Boy?"

Jack shrugged. "Why did they want Jasmine? I don't know Owen. He was a chosen one who refused to go in childhood, they came back for him."

"So why did he change his mind?"

Jack gestured back to the bedroom. "They attacked the only family he has left, Ianto agreed to go if they left them alone, seems they accepted the deal."

Owen failed to hide his surprise. "Shit, no real choice there then."

"Not really. Look can you deal with this? I'm going back to the Hub."

Owen nodded. "Sure boss." He couldn't help but notice how shattered Jack looked.

He was always taught that History began when the first written languages came about, but it was so much older than that. The birth of the universe itself, the conception of existence and the formation of matter, the language of light and atoms and gases coalescing into life itself, billions of years sliding through his consciousness, the first stars and planets the first plants and insects, light years away from the world that he knew and thought he understood. How wrong he had been. Many pathways opened up, crossing dimensions and realities, millions of histories, billions of new beginnings and possibilities. Ianto shrank away from the enormity of it, trying to understand why the Mara were showing him all this. There were no games, no torments just eternity spread about before him like an open book, and he was drowning in its pages.

Jack climbed into the SUV and thumped the steering wheel finally releasing the surge of grief and anger that rose from his chest. Another failing, another soul lost to him. Someone he was finally starting to feel a strong connection with. He had felt it that first day in the park, the latent energy behind the young man's intensely blue eyes. Of course Ianto would sacrifice himself; it was in his very nature, the man had virtually no sense of self preservation. Jack had never met anyone so truly selfless, not even the Doctor and Rose had been like that. Ianto had been dragged down since birth, blessed only with brief periods in the light of happiness. Jack half found himself considering how the boy had managed to stay sane and perhaps this time he hadn't. The Mara had offered him an escape route from his grief and loneliness, a chance to begin anew in whatever form their lives took. He wondered at that, maybe one day that laughter at the back of his conscience would be Ianto's. Jack sincerely hoped not, perhaps he would be able to take some of his own goodness into their world and make changes. But eternity was a long time and Ianto had just been given that and with it came decay and corruption, even now Jack recognised the same things in himself and he knew he was still in the conception stage of his long life himself. He shuddered at the thought and half wondered if the Mara knew how to fix him or if, even, he was one of them in some strange way. He needed his Doctor more than anything right now. Jack keyed the ignition and drove back to Hub with tears running down his cheeks, not tears for Ianto, but for himself as he became overwhelmed with his personal despair.

**AN: Hope this worked. Thanks for your comments boys and girls. xx**


	11. Chapter 11

**SUSPENSION 11**

He was certain his skull would split apart at any moment. He was by now blinded by the pain in his head as so much information coursed through every nerve ending in his body. Revelation after revelation; eons, ages, wars and cataclysms. Ianto absorbed it all, through every pore in his skin. His voice had gone and the noise around him was sheer nonsense and deafening. He just wanted for it to end, to be given the answers to his questions, to be made to understand. Though he was sure that deep down he really didn't want to know. There was darkness and chaos and in the midst of it stood one figure. The white light filled his vision again, the torrent of knowledge stopped, but the chaos remained swirling in his peripheral senses, and there he stood. The one fixed point in the universe destined to live through billions of tears as the ages slid by him. Ianto saw him and reached out his hands as if searching for an anchor. The man reached back, his hands outstretched desperately seeking the contact. Ianto hitched his breath in horror, drowning in someone else's madness, but he held out his hands anyway, realising that he was the anchor. Jack's anchor and suddenly he understood what the Mara were trying to tell him. The touch was like fire and ice, burning and cooling, torment and serenity. Everything stilled as if suspended in amber and Ianto finally found his voice.

"Jack?"

"Ianto."

A blanket of black enveloped them.

Jack was distracted from his personal demons by the com beeping in his ear. He touched it and smiled at the sound of Tosh's voice.

"Jack I've got a massive energy spike, right here in the Hub. GET BACK HERE NOW!"

Jack put his foot down. "Two minutes Tosh. Is it the Rift, is something coming through?"

"No Jack, it looks like a dimensional breach, like the one in London, only smaller.... and yes something is coming through." She sounded scared, and rightly so she was there alone.

Jack cursed. "Tosh, arm yourself.... better still get out and go into lock down."

"Too late for t........"

He viciously swung the SUV into the parking bay and got out running as fast as he could, swearing at the security protocols for getting into their base. Webley in hand he pounded up the stone steps into the main area of the Hub, he scanned the area.

"Tosh!"

"Over here Jack. Get over here. It's Ianto... It's Ianto he came through the breach."

He found her bent over a figure lying on the grill floor by the couch and got down by her side. There was Ianto lying pale and unconscious in the same clothes he had disappeared in less than hour before. Jack gathered him up in his arms and carried him down to the autopsy bay, yelling instructions to Tosh as he went.

"Call Owen, tell him to get back here ASAP."

Tosh didn't hesitate.

Jack carefully deposited Ianto on the metal table and hooked him up to Owen's monitors and breathed out a sigh of relief when he noted that all of Ianto's vitals were reasonably normal. He grabbed a blanket and spread it over him and then stepped back, wondering why on earth the young man was back there so soon. Ianto showed no signs of waking up so reluctantly Jack secured a set of straps across his chest and went up to join Tosh at her work station.

"The energy levels?"

Tosh was rapidly tapping keys. "Everything is back in the green. What the hell is going on? Is that our Ianto?"

Jack nodded "Yes, at least I think it is. The Mara took him away about an hour ago."

Tosh's eyes widened. "What is going on?"

Jack really didn't want to go into details. "Is Owen on his way?"

Peeved at Jack's deflection she nodded. "Yes, says he'll be here in few minutes."

Tosh folded her arms across her chest. "I'd like some answers Jack."

He shrugged at her. "I don't have them. The Mara threatened his family, Ianto went with them.... There must be some kind of rule about having to take people who are willing to go.... either way they must've gotten bored with him and sent him back."

Tosh looked over his shoulder in the direction of the autopsy bay. "You said those things were ageless, could move through time."

Jack nodded.

"Then how long was Ianto away for?"

He felt his heart flutter with worry at the thought. "For us? An hour. For him? Tosh, I have no idea... days... years even."

"It can't be that long, he looks the same."

Jack followed her gaze to the young man. "Maybe they have a way of preventing the aging."

"That isn't possible, is it?"

Jack knew only too well. "Yes it is."

They were distracted by Owen entering through the cog door.

"Where is he?"

Jack pointed and then followed Owen down to the autopsy bay. Owen got straight down to business pulling out various bits of equipment to give the unconscious Welshman a very thorough examination. Jack and Tosh stood on the upper level watching in silence until Owen turned to face them pulling off his latex gloves.

"He's fine, just deeply asleep; best to let him wake up naturally, it'll be less freaky for him."

Jack arched his eyebrows. "That's it?"

Owen nodded. "We'll know for certain when he wakes up and starts speaking in tongues.... so far as I can tell he's unharmed, physically, that is. Now having completely ruined my night could someone please get me a cup of coffee?"


	12. Chapter 12

**SUSPENSION 12**

It took some time to comprehend the fact that he was awake and even more to get his head around the fact that he was alive as well. He opened his eyes to the view of the over head surgical lights, which mercifully were switched off. He felt remarkably clear headed and took a moment to indulge in a long yawn. He shuffled slightly feeling his shoulder blades grinding against the metal underneath him.

"Ianto?" Owen's offensive London drawl even managed to ruin the sound of his own name. Ianto wondered how the acerbic medic managed that.

"Owen, what happened?" He really wasn't sure, but then was he ever?

"Not exactly certain mate, how do you feel?" Owen was looking away now at his monitors. Ianto tried to push himself up and realised he was restrained. Somehow he wasn't remotely bothered and just contented himself with closing his eyes.

"Did I go somewhere?"

"You could say that." Jack replied from his other side. Ianto turned his head and looked at his shadowed face. "Owen asked how you were feeling" There was definite concern there.

Ianto thought for a moment and then smiled. "Really rather good." He could see Jack frowning at the response as the older man leant over and released the restraint across his chest.

"Thank you, sir." He sat up gazing about like a curious toddler. He finally settled his gaze back to Jack. "Rhia." He remembered and for a moment his fingers clenched. "Rhia and the girls, are they alright?"

Jack nodded. "They're fine. Ianto where did you go? Where did they take you?" There was a slightly desperate edge to Jack's voice.

Ianto sighed, he remembered..... everything and what it meant, but there was no way he could explain it. It would be impossible to make him understand that the Mara had revealed the whole of history to him, past, present and future and that Jack Harkness himself was at the centre of it.... chaos itself.

"They showed me what I had to do." He replied realising just how inadequate an explanation that was. He heard Owen snort from behind him.

"He's fine Jack... in perfect health. I'm done here; I'd like to go home now."

Ianto phased out for a moment letting himself drift as Jack and Owen continued to talk around him as though he wasn't there. He didn't much mind, he had too much to think on as it was. Someone touched his shoulder and Ianto looked up into Owen's concerned dark eyes.

"You get some rest. I'll check you over again tomorrow morning."

Ianto nodded obediently at the instruction and satisfied Owen bounded up the steps out of the autopsy bay.

"I could do with a coffee." It escaped his lips before he even realised it and he looked back up at Jack who had stood back and was more visible in the light. The Captain's face was woven with concern and a small amount of trepidation. "Would you like some coffee, sir?" The question was a reflexive action. Jack seemed to snap out of where ever it was he had gone to and broke into a chuckle.

"YOU should be resting, but if you insist, coffee would be good."

Ianto nodded and edged off the table, they really needed a cot, hadn't he thought that before? He turned and smiled at Jack.

"We have to talk, sir. I don't know how to tell you what I saw, but I will try."

Jack came over and Ianto was startled to find himself pulled into a gentle embrace, Jack's hands carding through his hair and stroking his back. "I'm just glad that you're ok. You've had enough to deal with lately."

They eased apart and Ianto frowned..... Lisa..... it felt like an eternity ago, a distant twinge in the back of his conscience, how long had he been away?

"How long was I gone for, sir?"

Jack patted his arms and then stood back again shoving his hands into his pockets. "About an hour. I guess for you it was much longer."

Ianto's hands went straight to his face gently probing at his features. "Have I aged?"

Jack shook his head, if anything he looked younger, less troubled. "You look the same, better in fact."

Ianto lowered his hands, trying to make sense of his experience, it was strange, and the only clear thing that remained was the instruction from the Mara, 'keep chaos at bay and protect the undying one'. He looked straight into Jack's soul and shuddered at the blueness of the darkening depths of his eyes.

"Coffee." He murmured and turned and wandered up the steps, Jack a couple of paces behind ready to steady him if looked about to fall.

How do you explain to a man that he will fall into the madness of eternity and loneliness? That grief would consume him and drive him to do unthinkable acts? How do you explain forever? How was he, a mere mortal supposed to prevent it from happening? The Mara had charged him with the task, believed him enough. Ianto sighed, the man he had wanted to hate behind him, the man he come to pity and through his journey the man he come to love. Ianto did not understand, he just knew. Jack would become his constant and he had to become Jack's constant, somehow to save him, to save them both.

He found some comfort in the gleaming reflective surfaces of his beloved coffee machine. He saw his face there and that was a relief, though he was in need of a shave and shower. Trivial mortal rituals that could wait, whereas coffee could not. He needed the smooth reassuring bitterness to bathe his parched tongue and remind him once again of who he was, of course, even that was different now. How much time had elapsed him? The motions of making coffee calmed him and he could feel Jack's gaze at his back as he worked. It was a strange mix of concern, sadness and affection that washed off the Captain in waves but it was strangely comforting. Ianto passed him his favourite mug and Jack accepted it with an apprehensive smile.

"Come on, we'll talk in my office."

Ianto nodded and quietly followed his boss, his charge, up the metal steps. This was going to be the weirdest conversation of his life, the acceptance of his own destiny and the resignation to giving up ever leading a normal life. Ianto smiled to himself..... normal..... seriously over rated.

**FINIS........**


	13. Chapter 13

**SUSPENSION: FINAL**

Ianto sat down in the chair in front of Jack's desk, but Jack instead of taking his usual place behind it perched on the corner, close to Ianto instead. He sipped at the glorious mug that was filled with Ianto's coffee and waited patiently as Ianto appeared to gather his thoughts. The younger man's brow was deeply furrowed and Jack half wondered if he was in pain.

"You ok?" It slid off his tongue like silk and made Ianto look up at him and smile.

"I'm fine sir, just gathering my head together a bit." He really wasn't sure how he should proceed with the conversation.

Jack nodded keen to get the ball rolling. "So, what happened? Why did the Mara send you back?"

"I don't think they ever meant to keep me, well not this time anyway. I'm still not sure about when I was a kid though. Of course they didn't make that clear; when I left with them I assumed I'd be gone for good." Ianto put his mug down on the desk next to Jack's thigh. "This is hard to explain sir. They showed me many things and even now some of it is fading. My memory just isn't capable of retaining everything, even with my photo recall."

Jack was unable to contain his curiosity. "Tell me what you can, please. I'd like to know."

Ianto rested his hands on his knees. "They took me through time, I saw the beginning of the universe and God knows how I translate that into mere words, they showed the births of civilisations, and their deaths, thousands upon thousands of worlds. It was beautiful and incomprehensible and.... I wish I could describe it, something so.... I saw it all Jack, everything that ever was and what could be."

"Not should be?" The expression on Ianto's face was entrancing.

"The future isn't set in stone Jack, we both know that, it's like the sound of thunder, or the direction of the wind and it changes with every choice we make. A constant state of flux, as it should be." He remembered reading something similar in one of the archive documents about 'The Doctor'. "The Mara showed me a potential future. A future born of pain and destruction; a future that even they cannot see into with great certainty. It frightens them. They showed me chaos, and a blackness that spreads like a shroud over all existence."

Jack lowered his mug. "Shit, that can't be good."

"It wasn't. It was terrifying, like drowning in despair and believe me I know firsthand how that feels. It was the end, before it was supposed to happen, the collapse of civilisation across the whole universe. Like some unstoppable force tearing through the fabric of timespace." Ianto shuddered as he spoke and Jack cautiously rested a hand on his arm.

"Why did they show you this?"

At that Ianto looked straight up into his eyes. "Because you are the focal point, the cause. The one constant factor, like a cancer at the centre of it." He held Jack's gaze as a look of horror spread across his face, the hand dropping away. Ianto automatically grabbed it and squeezed it tight before Jack could with draw it. Jack's eyes seemed to narrow and darkened and Ianto felt his resist his grip, but he held on.

"Jack, they wanted to show me that there is a way forward for you, one that means there IS a future. They showed me you're potential, your strength of character....."

"I don't understand. God no, why would I do such a thing?"

Ianto closed his eyes against the storm raging in front of him. "Neither do I. They didn't give me answers Jack; they just told me what I had to do. I guess that as a human you are not meant to be immortal. Perhaps all those years of living when everything around you dies, became too much." He could feel Jack's hand trembling in his.

"They told me never to lose faith in you..... those were my instructions and I know that is what I have to do, no matter what. I just don't know how that is supposed to help. I wasn't given a map and compass to go with it." He opened his eyes as Jack's breath hitched, right before he burst out laughing. It was a beautiful and terrifying sound, happy and quite mad in the same instant and Ianto was distinctly unsettled by it.

"Only you Jones Ianto Jones, only you. I knew you were different, I just didn't realise how much. There's some weird symmetry in there somewhere. You come in and almost bring about the end of the world and you are the one destined to prevent the end of everything. The universe is seriously fucked in the head." He caught his breath. "How long was it? How long, out there walking the stars?"

Ianto looked away for the first time. "Too long. I almost lost myself. It felt like centuries. I don't know, only that it was a long time. I'm still trying to grasp the fundamentals of it, of you, your immortality.... well not quite. I can tell you one thing."

"And what's that?"

Ianto smiled and locked his gaze back into those oceanic orbs. "You will die, and when you die you will not be alone. You'll have a message for an old friend and he'll be with you in your passing."

The relief in Jack's face was overwhelming. "When? How long?"

Ianto shrugged. "I don't know, but it is long time away."

"Who will be with me Ianto? Is it you?"

"No. I don't know who he is, I'm sorry. I think they kept that from me on purpose." Ianto finally released Jack's hand suddenly feeling overwhelmed himself. "I will remain as I am, mortal and human so whatever it is I am supposed to do..... Well your guess is as good as mine. Either way I have to do it before I die, it's like a micro second in the grand scheme of things and maybe by the time it's relevant you would have forgotten me anyway."

They lapsed into silence, each contemplating the words that had been exchanged between them. Ianto dropped his head down a little and tried to stifle a yawn.

"You should go home and get some rest."

"Yes, sir. I think I will." He stood up and stretched and Jack couldn't help but admire the view.

"Come on. I'll drive you home."

"Thank you, sir."

**AN: It wasn't my intention to write a final part, but as some of you asked me for a sequel...... well didn't want to go quite that far.... so I guess an epilogue... of sorts. So many of you have reviewed and stuck with my story, thank you very much. Deeta.**


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